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As grandmothers, we love watching our grandkids grow, play, and develop into their own little personalities. But beyond the hugs and giggles, we have a role to play in guiding them and keeping an eye on behaviors that can signal their well-being, struggles, or strengths. While every child is unique, certain behaviors can indicate how they are developing emotionally, socially, and intellectually. Recognizing these signs allows us to nurture their growth while also addressing any potential concerns. Here are ten of the most important behaviors we should be watching for in our grandkids.
1. Kindness and Empathy
One of the greatest joys of being a grandmother is seeing our grandkids show kindness to others. Whether it’s sharing a toy, comforting a friend, or speaking gently to a sibling, kindness tells us they are learning empathy. Empathy is a crucial skill that helps children build strong relationships and navigate social interactions effectively.
If we notice a lack of compassion, it may be an opportunity to gently encourage empathy through stories and real-life examples. We can share tales of kindness from our own childhoods or read books that emphasize caring for others. If a child struggles to express empathy, role-playing different scenarios can be a helpful way to guide them. Sometimes, a grandchild just needs a reminder that small acts of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s day.
2. Honesty and Integrity
It’s natural for kids to tell little fibs sometimes, especially when they fear getting into trouble. However, frequent dishonesty can be a warning sign of deeper issues, such as anxiety, fear, or difficulty understanding consequences. If we notice our grandkids struggling with the truth, we can help guide them by emphasizing the value of honesty and creating a safe space where they feel they can be truthful.
One way to reinforce honesty is through positive reinforcement. Instead of punishing them harshly for mistakes, we can encourage them to take responsibility by praising their honesty. We can also share personal stories about integrity and how choosing to be honest, even when it’s difficult, leads to trust and respect in relationships.
3. Resilience and Problem-Solving
Life is full of challenges, and we want our grandkids to be able to handle setbacks with grace. How do they react when they fail a test, lose a game, or struggle with a task? Do they give up quickly, or do they try to find solutions? Building resilience in children helps them develop a growth mindset—the belief that they can improve through effort and perseverance.
We can foster resilience by encouraging problem-solving instead of providing immediate solutions. If a grandchild struggles with homework, instead of giving them the answer, we can ask guiding questions to help them figure it out. Sharing stories of our own struggles and how we overcame them can also inspire them to keep trying.
4. Respect for Others
Respect isn’t just about using polite words—it’s about how they treat their parents, teachers, friends, and even strangers. A child who interrupts constantly, disregards boundaries, or speaks disrespectfully might need a little extra guidance in understanding the importance of treating others with consideration.
Teaching respect starts with modeling respectful behavior. When we speak to children with kindness and listen attentively to their thoughts, they learn to do the same. Encouraging them to consider how their words and actions affect others can help instill a sense of respect and responsibility in their interactions.
5. Independence and Responsibility
Are our grandkids learning to take care of their things, complete small tasks, or manage their time? Independence and responsibility start small—picking up toys, completing homework, or remembering to say thank you. These skills prepare them for larger responsibilities as they grow.
Giving children age-appropriate tasks, like setting the table or helping with gardening, can boost their confidence and sense of accomplishment. When they see that their contributions matter, they develop pride in their independence. Of course, we should always be there to support them, but allowing them to do things on their own fosters growth and responsibility.
6. Emotional Expression and Communication
How do our grandkids handle their emotions? Do they shut down, lash out, or talk about their feelings? Emotional intelligence is just as important as academic success. Children who can express their emotions in healthy ways tend to build stronger relationships and handle stress better.
If a child struggles to articulate their feelings, we can encourage them with open-ended questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think would help you feel better?” Teaching them that emotions are normal and that it’s okay to express sadness, frustration, or excitement helps them develop healthy coping mechanisms.
7. Curiosity and Love of Learning
A curious child is a child who is growing! Whether they’re asking endless “why” questions or getting lost in a book, curiosity is a sign of a developing mind. A love of learning can lead to a lifelong habit of seeking knowledge, which benefits them in every aspect of life.
If we notice a lack of interest in learning or an unusual disinterest in things they once loved, it might be time to gently encourage new explorations and discoveries. Taking them on nature walks, visiting museums, or even conducting fun science experiments at home can reignite their passion for discovery.
8. Confidence and Self-Worth
Do our grandkids believe in themselves? Do they try new things, speak up when they need help, and show pride in their accomplishments? A lack of confidence can manifest in many ways, from withdrawing socially to avoiding challenges.
As grandmothers, we can help build their confidence by praising their efforts rather than just results. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” we can say, “I love how hard you worked on that!” This encourages them to see value in perseverance rather than fearing failure.
9. Social Awareness and Friendships
How do our grandkids interact with peers? Are they forming healthy friendships, or do they struggle with social interactions? If we notice bullying behavior—whether they are the one being bullied or the one doing the bullying—it’s important to step in with love and guidance.
Teaching them how to choose good friends and be a good friend in return is invaluable. Encouraging kindness, teaching them how to resolve conflicts peacefully, and helping them understand that it’s okay to walk away from toxic friendships are essential life lessons.
10. Gratitude and Appreciation
A child who appreciates what they have—whether it’s family, food, or the little things in life—tends to be happier and more content. If we notice an entitlement attitude or a lack of gratitude, we can gently encourage thankfulness by setting an example.
Practicing gratitude together—like sharing things we’re grateful for at the dinner table or writing thank-you notes—helps reinforce this positive mindset. When children learn to appreciate life’s blessings, they grow up to be more compassionate and fulfilled individuals.
Final Thoughts
Being a grandmother means being both a loving presence and a watchful guide. These behaviors can tell us so much about what our grandkids need, where they are thriving, and where they may need a little extra help. By staying attentive and encouraging these positive traits, we can play a vital role in shaping them into wonderful, kind, and capable individuals. After all, a grandmother’s love is one of the strongest guiding lights a child can have!
