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Oh, how wonderful it is to have a house full of grandchildren! Each one is like a little puzzle, with their own likes, dislikes, and ways of seeing the world. As grandmothers, we want to know them deeply—not just as a group, but as individuals. What makes them giggle? What foods make them wrinkle their noses? What hobbies make their eyes light up?
Each child is different, even among siblings. While one grandchild might love to run outside and climb trees, another may prefer to stay indoors and draw for hours. Some love reading, while others would rather build something with their hands. And as grandmothers, we have the privilege of discovering what makes each one unique.
But how do we do that? How do we learn their true personalities, especially if they don’t always express themselves openly? Some children will tell us exactly what they like, while others may keep things to themselves. Some change their minds every week! Learning each grandchild’s preferences is one of the best ways to build a close and loving relationship with them.
So, let’s take a look at a few simple ways we can get to know our grandkids better!
1. Observe Their Reactions
Sometimes, children won’t outright tell us what they like or dislike, but their expressions will. If you serve a meal and one grandchild eats quickly while another picks at their food, that’s a clue. If you suggest a game and one grandchild jumps up excitedly while another hesitates, that’s something to take note of.
Watch their faces when they open gifts, hear music, or see animals. Notice which books they reach for, what colors they gravitate toward, and what activities make them smile the biggest. These little details tell us so much about their personal preferences.
One of my grandkids, for example, used to frown every time I played my old country music records. I took the hint and asked, “What kind of music do you like?” Turns out, he was into jazz! Now, when he visits, I play a little Louis Armstrong, and suddenly he’s engaged, asking me if I like certain songs. All because I noticed his reaction and adjusted accordingly!
2. Ask Direct Questions (But Keep It Fun!)
Asking questions is one of the easiest ways to learn about our grandkids—if we ask in the right way. Instead of broad questions like, “What do you like to do?” try something more playful, such as:
- “If you could eat one thing every day for a year, what would it be?”
- “If you had a magic power, what would it be?”
- “If we could go on any adventure together, where should we go?”
These kinds of questions not only help us learn what they like, but they also spark their imaginations. And the more fun we make it, the more they’ll want to share.
3. Let Them Teach You Something
Every grandchild has something they are passionate about, and they love to share it—especially if we’re willing to listen and learn. Maybe one grandchild is fascinated by dinosaurs and would be thrilled to tell us all about the T-Rex’s teeth. Maybe another is obsessed with a certain video game and wants to show us how to play.
Letting them be the expert makes them feel special. It tells them, “I care about what you love, and I want to learn from you.” That’s a powerful way to build a connection.
I once had a grandchild try to teach me how to use emojis properly in text messages. At first, I thought, “Why does this matter?” But the moment I used one correctly, he grinned from ear to ear and said, “Grandma, you’re actually cool!” That moment of connection wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t let him teach me something he cared about.
4. Notice How They Play
A child’s playtime reveals so much about them. Some children love structured activities like puzzles and board games, while others prefer open-ended play, like making up their own stories with dolls or action figures.
Pay attention to how they interact with others, too. Are they natural leaders in group games? Do they prefer one-on-one interactions? Do they gravitate toward physical activities, or are they more focused on creativity?
Noticing these differences helps us choose better gifts, plan more enjoyable visits, and understand their personalities on a deeper level.
5. Try Different Activities and See What Sticks
Sometimes, kids don’t even know what they love until they try it! If we introduce them to new activities, we get to witness their genuine reactions.
Try baking cookies together, taking a nature walk, planting a small garden, or working on a craft project. Maybe one child will love gardening, while another prefers helping in the kitchen.
You’ll quickly see which activities excite them and which ones they do just to be polite. And when you find something they truly love, you’ll have a special bonding activity for years to come.
6. Respect Their Boundaries
Not every grandchild will want constant hugs or enjoy big family gatherings. Some may prefer quiet time, while others thrive in loud, busy environments.
Observing their comfort levels and respecting their boundaries helps build trust. If a grandchild seems hesitant to talk, forcing conversation won’t help—but letting them know we’re always there to listen when they’re ready will.
The more they trust us, the more they will open up about their true selves.
7. Listen to How They Express Themselves
Every child has a different way of communicating their preferences. Some are naturally chatty and will tell us what they like, while others show it through their actions.
A quiet child may need more patience and space before they share their thoughts, while a talkative one might love long conversations about their interests.
When we adjust our approach to match their communication style, we create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves.
8. Watch Their Changing Interests Over Time
A grandchild’s preferences will evolve as they grow. One year, they might love dinosaurs; the next, they might be obsessed with outer space. What they enjoyed as a toddler may no longer excite them as a teenager.
Keeping up with these changes shows them that we care about who they are at every stage of life. It also prevents us from assuming they are the same person they were five years ago!
9. Make It a Tradition to Check In
A special “just us” tradition—whether it’s a yearly outing, a favorite meal when they visit, or a special bedtime chat—creates a space for sharing.
When we consistently show interest in their lives, they are more likely to open up about their changing interests, struggles, and joys.
10. Love Them Exactly as They Are
At the end of the day, the best way to learn about our grandkids is simply to love them as they are. When they know they are accepted without judgment, they feel safe enough to be themselves. That’s when we truly get to see and appreciate their unique personalities.
Final Thoughts
Getting to know each grandchild individually is a joyful journey. Every small discovery—whether it’s their favorite ice cream flavor or their biggest dream—brings us closer together. And isn’t that what being a grandmother is all about?
What little things have you learned about your grandkids that surprised you? Let’s share our stories and keep learning together!
