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Oh, dear grandmothers, we know our words hold great weight in the hearts of our grandchildren. A promise from us isn’t just a passing thought—it’s a bond, a commitment, a piece of trust that those little (or not-so-little) ones hold onto tightly.
Think back to your own childhood. Do you remember a time when someone made a promise to you and didn’t keep it? Even if it was something small, it probably stung. As grandmothers, we are a source of warmth, comfort, and reliability in our grandkids’ lives, and while we never intend to disappoint them, making a promise we can’t keep can lead to just that.
Life has a way of throwing unexpected twists our way, and sometimes, even with the best intentions, we find ourselves unable to follow through. And when that happens too often, we risk breaking not just a promise but a little piece of the trust our grandchild has in us.
So, let’s take a moment to reflect on the kind of promises we should never make unless we are absolutely certain we can keep them.
1. “I’ll Be at Every Game, Recital, or Special Event.”
Every grandmother wants to be there for the special moments. The joy on their face when they spot us in the audience or on the sidelines is priceless. But life sometimes gets in the way—health issues, unexpected obligations, or even distance can prevent us from attending.
Instead of making an absolute promise, we can say:
👉 “I will do my best to be there, and if I can’t, I’ll celebrate with you in a special way.”
This lets them know that they are important to us while also preparing them for the possibility that we may not always be able to be physically present.
2. “I Will Always Be Here for You.”
As grandmothers, we want to be our grandkids’ safe space, their unwavering support system. And while we mean this promise with all our hearts, the reality is that life is unpredictable. We may not always be around, and we certainly don’t want them to take our presence for granted without learning how to stand on their own.
Instead, we can say:
👉 “As long as I am able, I will always be here for you.”
This still reassures them but also gently introduces the reality that nothing in life is guaranteed.
3. “I’ll Keep This a Secret From Your Parents.”
We all want our grandkids to trust us enough to confide in us. But making a promise to keep secrets from their parents can put us in a tricky situation, especially if it involves something that could be harmful to them.
A better approach is to say:
👉 “You can always talk to me, and I’ll help you figure out the best way to handle things.”
This way, they know they can trust us, but we’re not encouraging secrecy that could put them in harm’s way.
4. “I’ll Buy That for You Next Time.”
How many times have we said this in passing, only to forget or find ourselves unable to follow through? To a child, these words mean the world—they take them literally and count on that promise being fulfilled.
Instead of making a promise we’re not sure we can keep, we can say:
👉 “Let’s see if we can make that happen in the future!”
This keeps their hopes up without setting them up for disappointment if circumstances change.
5. “You Can Stay at My House Whenever You Want.”
Oh, how we love having our grandkids over! But as much as we’d like to have an open-door policy, circumstances might not always allow it. Whether it’s health issues, family dynamics, or their parents’ rules, promising unlimited sleepovers may not be realistic.
A better way to phrase it is:
👉 “I love having you over, and I’ll always try to make it happen when I can.”
This sets loving but realistic expectations.
6. “I’ll Never Let Anything Bad Happen to You.”
Every grandmother wants to protect her grandchild from harm. But we can’t shield them from everything—scraped knees, broken hearts, disappointments, and hardships are part of life.
Instead of making an impossible promise, we can say:
👉 “I will always do my best to keep you safe and help you through anything that comes your way.”
This teaches them resilience while reassuring them of our love and protection.
7. “I’ll Always Be Able to Help You Financially.”
We love spoiling our grandkids, and many of us have helped them out financially at different points in their lives. However, we never know what the future holds—our financial situation may change.
A more responsible way to frame this is:
👉 “I will help when I can, and if I can’t, I’ll still be here to support you in other ways.”
This keeps our generosity from turning into an obligation that we may not always be able to meet.
8. “I’ll Never Be Mad at You.”
We love our grandkids unconditionally, but let’s be honest—we’re still human! They will frustrate us, test our patience, and maybe even hurt our feelings. Saying we’ll never be mad at them is unrealistic.
Instead, we can say:
👉 “Even if I get upset, I will always love you and we will work through it together.”
This teaches them that love is not dependent on perfection and that relationships can withstand disagreements.
9. “I’ll Live Long Enough to See You Graduate/Get Married/Have Kids.”
We all hope and pray to witness every milestone in our grandkids’ lives, but time is not something we can control. While this promise comes from a place of love, it can unintentionally set them up for heartbreak if life takes an unexpected turn.
Instead, we can say:
👉 “I am so excited to see you grow, and I cherish every moment with you.”
This shifts the focus to cherishing the present rather than making uncertain promises about the future.
10. “Nothing Will Ever Change Between Us.”
We’d love to believe our relationship with our grandkids will stay the same forever. But as they grow older, their interests change, they become more independent, and they might not always be as close as they once were. That doesn’t mean our love fades—it simply evolves.
A more realistic way to express this is:
👉 “No matter what happens, my love for you will always stay strong.”
This reassures them that even if life takes them in different directions, our love will remain constant.
Final Thoughts
As grandmothers, our words carry immense weight. Our grandkids look up to us, trust us, and believe what we say. That’s why we must be mindful of the promises we make—ensuring that when we do give our word, it’s something we can truly stand by.
Instead of making absolute promises, we can offer reassurances that are loving but realistic. By doing this, we not only strengthen our bond with our grandchildren but also teach them valuable lessons about trust, responsibility, and the importance of keeping one’s word.
So, dear grandmothers, let’s keep our promises strong, our love unwavering, and our relationships built on trust that lasts a lifetime. 💕
