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We grandparents love our grandchildren with a depth that words can hardly describe. Yet, even with hearts full of love, there are parts of their lives we might unintentionally overlook. Often, we think certain things are the parents’ responsibility, or we assume that kids today don’t need the same attention we once gave. But the truth is, they do — maybe now more than ever.
By paying closer attention to these important areas, we can become not just a presence in their lives, but a powerful source of comfort, guidance, and unconditional support.
Here are 10 areas we must be careful not to wrongfully neglect:
1. Their Mental Health
It’s so easy to assume that children are naturally resilient — that they’ll bounce back from anything with time. But times have changed, and the pressure young people face today is immense. From school expectations to social media comparisons, children often carry silent worries.
As grandparents, we can offer a calm, non-judgmental ear. We don’t need to fix everything; sometimes, just asking “How are you really feeling, sweetheart?” and listening patiently without rushing them can do wonders. Showing them that their feelings are valid gives them the courage to express themselves safely and honestly.
2. Their Friendships
Friendships are some of the first relationships that teach children about trust, loyalty, and compassion. When we neglect to take an interest in their friends — who they’re spending time with, how those friendships are making them feel — we miss opportunities to guide and support them through critical learning moments.
Instead of dismissing their friendship troubles as “just part of growing up,” we can invite conversation. A simple, “Tell me about your friends. Who makes you laugh the most?” can open doors. If they trust us with their social struggles, we can gently help them navigate healthy and respectful friendships.
3. Their Emotional Resilience
Life will throw disappointments their way — a lost game, a broken friendship, a failed test — and while our instinct may be to shield them, true love helps them learn how to stand back up.
We can share our own stories of perseverance: times we struggled, got hurt, but kept going. By doing so, we remind them that hardships don’t define us — how we respond to them does. Encouraging words like, “You are stronger than this moment,” build resilience that lasts a lifetime.
4. Their Curiosity and Love of Learning
Children are naturally curious. Yet, when school becomes just grades and tests, that spark can dim. If we don’t nurture their curiosity outside of school, we risk letting their natural love of learning fade away.
We can fan the flames of their wonder by exploring the world with them: visiting museums, planting gardens, asking questions about the stars, cooking new recipes together. Showing them that learning is a lifelong adventure keeps their minds bright and their spirits eager.
5. Their Personal Values
It’s one thing to tell a child to “be good,” and another to consistently model kindness, patience, and honesty ourselves. Values are often caught more than they are taught.
We grandparents have a special influence because we have lived long enough to know what truly matters. By weaving lessons into everyday moments — helping a neighbor, telling the truth even when it’s hard, showing forgiveness — we plant seeds of strong character that can flourish for years to come.
6. Their Identity and Individuality
Every child is beautifully unique, but sometimes we unintentionally put pressure on them to be more like us — or more like what we think they should be.
Recognizing and celebrating who they are — even when their passions are unfamiliar to us — tells them, “You are loved exactly as you are.” Whether they’re an athlete, a budding artist, a bookworm, or a dreamer, our unconditional support gives them the courage to stay true to themselves in a world that often pressures them to conform.
7. Their Faith or Spiritual Life
Faith, hope, and a sense of purpose are anchors that can keep a young person steady when life’s storms come. Yet, spiritual growth isn’t automatic — it often begins with small seeds planted in childhood.
We can nourish their spiritual life by sharing traditions, reading uplifting stories, praying together if they’re open, and most importantly, living out our own faith with authenticity and love. Even if they choose different paths as they grow, the roots we help plant can offer them peace and direction when they need it most.
8. Their Sense of Belonging
Every grandchild needs to know they are part of something bigger than themselves — a family, a heritage, a story worth telling. If we don’t intentionally pass down family traditions, history, or even just funny stories from our own childhoods, we risk letting their sense of belonging wither.
We can create that belonging through small but meaningful ways: a Sunday phone call, a special recipe made together, a story about how their parents were when they were little. These simple acts knit them tightly into the fabric of their family and give them a place to call home, no matter where life takes them.
9. Their Dreams and Passions
It’s easy to dismiss their passions if they seem impractical or fleeting. But to a child, their dreams are full of magic, hope, and excitement.
Whether they dream of becoming a singer, a scientist, a chef, or a world-traveling photographer, our encouragement can mean the world. Instead of asking, “How will you make money doing that?” we can ask, “What do you love about it?” Nurturing their dreams shows them that their passions matter — and that they matter.
10. Their Need for Boundaries and Guidance
We often want to be the “fun grandparent” — and there’s certainly a place for that. But real love also means giving loving, clear boundaries. When we set expectations around respect, responsibility, and kindness, we show our grandchildren that we believe in their ability to rise to higher standards.
Boundaries don’t make us the bad guy — they make us trustworthy and dependable. They give our grandchildren the security of knowing that someone cares enough to guide them toward their best selves.
Final Thoughts
It’s easy to think we’re doing enough by simply being there — and being present is a powerful gift. But if we want our relationship with our grandchildren to flourish, we must also be intentional. We must pay attention not just to what’s easy or obvious, but to the tender parts of their hearts and lives that are easy to overlook.
When we do, we offer them something priceless: the kind of steadfast love, wisdom, and encouragement that lasts not just for a season, but for a lifetime.
After all, being a grandparent isn’t just about watching them grow — it’s about growing alongside them.
