{"id":13871,"date":"2025-02-20T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-20T09:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.devotedgrandma.com\/?p=13871"},"modified":"2025-02-20T10:30:50","modified_gmt":"2025-02-20T14:30:50","slug":"30-common-demoralizing-statements-grandmas-should-avoid-when-talking-to-their-grandkids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.devotedgrandma.com\/grandparenting\/30-common-demoralizing-statements-grandmas-should-avoid-when-talking-to-their-grandkids\/","title":{"rendered":"30 Common Demoralizing Statements Grandmas Should Avoid When Talking to Their Grandkids"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

As grandmothers, our words carry an incredible amount of weight in our grandchildren\u2019s lives. We are their safe place, their source of comfort, and their guiding voice. They turn to us for love, wisdom, and encouragement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But sometimes, without realizing it, we might say things that discourage rather than uplift them. What may seem like an innocent comment to us could stay with them for years, shaping their confidence, self-worth, and the way they see themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why we must be mindful of the messages we send with our words<\/strong>. Our goal should be to build them up<\/strong>, not tear them down\u2014even when correcting them. A well-placed word of encouragement can strengthen their self-esteem, while an unintended hurtful comment can chip away at it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are 30 common demoralizing statements we should avoid<\/strong>\u2014along with better ways to communicate our thoughts in a loving and supportive way.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

1. “You’re too sensitive.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 This makes children feel like their emotions are a weakness rather than a natural part of being human.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I can see that really affected you. Do you want to talk about it?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. “You\u2019ll never be as good as your sibling\/cousin\/friend.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Comparing them to others makes them feel like they aren\u2019t good enough.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Everyone has their own strengths, and I love seeing you grow in yours!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. “You\u2019re not trying hard enough.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Implies that their effort isn\u2019t valuable, even if they\u2019re giving their best.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I see you working hard. Keep going! I believe in you.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. “That\u2019s not how I did it when I was your age.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Times change, and this can make them feel like they\u2019re always wrong.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “It\u2019s interesting how things evolve! Show me how you do it.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. “That\u2019s not a real job\/hobby.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Saying this makes them feel like their dreams don\u2019t matter.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Tell me what excites you about it!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. “You\u2019ll understand when you\u2019re older.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 This can make them feel dismissed and unimportant.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “That\u2019s a great question. Let\u2019s talk about it together.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. “You always mess things up.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Negative labels can become part of their self-image.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Mistakes help us learn. Let\u2019s try again together.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. “You\u2019re not pretty\/handsome enough for that.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Can plant seeds of insecurity that last a lifetime.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “You are beautifully unique just as you are.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. “Stop crying\u2014it\u2019s not a big deal.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Their emotions are<\/strong> a big deal to them.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I see this really matters to you. Want a hug?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. “I told you so.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 It may be tempting, but it doesn\u2019t help them learn.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “What do you think you\u2019ll do differently next time?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. “You should be more like your sibling\/friend.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Makes them feel like they\u2019ll never measure up.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I love how you do things in your own way.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. “You\u2019re too young to have an opinion on this.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Can make them feel like their thoughts don\u2019t matter.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I\u2019d love to hear what you think!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. “You\u2019ll never succeed if you keep acting like that.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Sounds like a prediction of failure rather than encouragement.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Keep practicing, and I know you\u2019ll get there!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. “You\u2019re just being lazy.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Labels don\u2019t inspire effort.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Are you feeling unmotivated? How can I help?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. “You should know better.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Can make them feel ashamed instead of teaching them.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Let\u2019s talk about what happened and what we can learn from it.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. “Boys don\u2019t cry” \/ “Girls shouldn\u2019t be so bossy.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 These outdated ideas limit them.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “It\u2019s okay to express how you feel.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

17. “You\u2019ll never make it if you keep acting this way.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Makes them feel like success is impossible.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “You\u2019re capable of great things! Let\u2019s work on it together.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

18. “I\u2019m disappointed in you.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Can make them feel unworthy of love.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I didn\u2019t expect that choice, but I still love you.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

19. “You always embarrass me.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Creates deep shame.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Let\u2019s talk about how we can handle this better next time.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

20. “You\u2019ll never be good at this.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Shuts down their willingness to try.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “You\u2019re improving every time you practice!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

21. “You\u2019re acting like a baby.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Feels like an insult.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I see you\u2019re upset. Want to tell me what\u2019s wrong?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

22. “Why can\u2019t you be more grateful?”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Gratitude is taught<\/strong>, not forced.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Let\u2019s talk about what we\u2019re thankful for today.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

23. “You\u2019re too old for that.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Makes them feel pressured to grow up too fast.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “If you love it, keep enjoying it!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

24. “You\u2019ll never understand.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Can make them feel unintelligent.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Let\u2019s work through this together.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

25. “You should just give up.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 The most damaging thing we can say.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “You\u2019re capable of more than you think. Keep going!”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

26. “You\u2019re a bad kid.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Labels can stick for life.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “You made a mistake, but that doesn\u2019t define you.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

27. “You don\u2019t know what real problems are.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Their struggles feel big to them.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I understand this is tough for you. How can I help?”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

28. “I don\u2019t have time for this right now.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Makes them feel unimportant.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “Give me a moment, and I\u2019d love to listen.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

29. “That\u2019s a dumb idea.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 Crushes their creativity and confidence.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “That\u2019s an interesting idea! Tell me more about it.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

30. “I give up on you.”<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\udc94 The worst thing a child can hear.
\ud83d\udc96 Instead, say: “I\u2019ll always believe in you, no matter what.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Words matter. As grandmothers, we have the power to shape our grandchildren\u2019s self-worth<\/strong> with what we say. Instead of discouraging them, let\u2019s be their biggest cheerleaders.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A kind word today can become the confidence they carry for a lifetime.<\/strong> \ud83d\udc96<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As grandmothers, our words carry an incredible amount of weight 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